MY EVER SO NEW BLOG!!!!

2003-09-07T00:09:00.000-07:00

so its like 1 30 in the morning and i have church in a few hours lol i should go to bed one day. Hows everyone? lisa is conked out on my bed, i swear its impossible to keep her up for an hour! laroux might actually come with me to church tomorrow b/c his old friends matt and mick go to my church.

man i need to update this more but i dont see why b/c all i do is ramble on it about nothing and i dont want the few people that actually read it to read ramble. i mean no one should be put through that. : ) so steven is being brutally honest with me tonight apparently im mean now and he things my blog is gay! lol just messing with ya! ok so i am gonna come up to amc at like 2 or 3 b/c.....im not sure anymore, but i did have a plan. OH YES! a movie! the order...yum! gonna see that! and then i work every sinnngle day until wednesday!
only i work wednesday! no big! im actually excited im working this much, i hate being home at night b/c everyones so sleepy!

speaking of sleepy i am becoming that very thing! goodnight ladies and gents!

2003-08-27T14:45:00.000-07:00

This thing has changed, i mean its cool but its got a new look but its weird. lol anyways! sarah is coming over now and i guess thats cool, i dunno right now im all lost i have so much going on in my head and i am so upset about everything and i have not a single person i used to except for lisa! i mean ashley is gone, sarah is gone. screw it life sux for everyone at some point

2003-08-23T11:52:00.000-07:00

Howdy, so tests came back on my sister and im confused because i thought we already knew this. apparently the tumors on her liver werent the tumors they thought they were so they have to go see if they are cancerous now...hmm. Doctors ehh!

Anyways i have to work today at 6-close main concession (thanx christen) but lisa and I are going up there at 4 so we can watch a movie and then she is gonna stay up there all day while i work b/c she doesnt feel good. I dont understand that but ok. Then she is spending the night with me and we are going to church tomorrow! THENNNNNN cindy, me nick and matt are going to see SWAT after church. Poor lisa i think she is really sick she sounded liek crap on the phone. lol ok well i am gonna go take like a 30 minute nap on the couch till lisa gets here. hope to see some of yall tonight!

2003-08-21T14:55:00.000-07:00

hey, so yeah its been like 11 days since i have updated!!! LONG TIME NO?so yeah i am in school now aint it great! Yeah the first two days i was put in sophmore classes but i got out and now i am in some really awesome ones!

I have this teacher, mr. wilson, and he reminds me so much of aaron! like yesterday he saw his shadown on the board and traced it then gave it fangs, and a mohawk, then he made himself an alien then a robot, i was like whoooaaa. and then today we had extra time in class so he taught the whole class how to make paper airplanes.... i was very weirded out, but hes cool! OH and lisa is in my last period class!! ASL thats pretty cool , we never have had a class together!

Tomorrow night i am going to see a few local bands play, jake was nice enough to take my shift! he is so cool, not just for taking my shift either, he is really nice. ANYWAYS! ok so on a serious note my sister is supposed to get her test results today and the doctor said he didnt wanna say it over the phone, so i will update afetr i call her.

2003-08-10T14:02:00.000-07:00

I am gonna go back to my sisters today after i go to work and fill out an availability! and i have to work on wednesday!! the day b4 school!?!?! heck i dont mind its better than sittin at home! if you work from 1-9 and your not in box, then your workin with me!?!? have a wonderful day!

yay survey!!

WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT:
*Abortion: bad for the baby
*Eating disorders: sucks
*Rape: awful
*Suicide: depends
*South park: hate it
*Piercings: very nice
*Make-up: got some
*Drinking: dr.pepper

WHICH WAY WOULD YOU SPELL IT?
*Megan or meghan: meghan
*Lacey or lacy: lacey
*Steven or stephen: steven
*Kurt or curt: kurt
*Kelly or kelley: kelly
*Mark or marc: mark
*Brandi or brandy: brandy
*Eric or erik: erik
*Corrine or carine: huh?
*Kari or carrie: Kari
*Jackie or jackqui: Jackie
*Deseray or desirae: desirae
*Jayde or jade: jayde
*Amy or aimee: aimee
*Ashley or ashleigh: Ashley.
*Geoff or jeff: jeff

LOVE LIFE?
*Do you have a crush/love interest: shut up
*Whats his or her age: nope
*How long have you liked him or her: I don’t like this part
*If you could kiss them right now would you: …..
*Do you think there is a person for everyone: yess siree!
*Do you believe in love at first sight: yuppers
*Have you ever been in love: sure
*Do you think it lasts forever: yes, unless something awful happens hindering you from ever being able to trust them again
*Do you want to get married?: when I am 22

PAST
*First grade teacher's name: ms. noel
*Last word you said: im not going to dinner
*Last song you sang: anas song (still have Aarons cd sorry!)
*Last meal you ate: popcorn,
*Last person you flipped off: patricks house
*Last song stuck in your head: kelly clarkson- beautiful disaster
*Last time you had an injury that made you bleed: cat scratch
*What color socks are you wearing: none
*What's under your bed: my bed is in the garage, I am at the moment w/o a bed
*What's the weather like: rainy, nice
*What is on your wall calender: OOO I have a desk calendar, but it says nothing, I think I have it to look very professional
*What time did you wake up today: 10:32

FUTURE
*When do you want to marry: when im 22!
*Do you want kids? Only like two
*Are you going to college: I have no choice
*If so, how long do you want to go: 4 years

First best friend: Ashley and Cindy
Last best friend: Sarah…..
First real memory of something: in my old old house there was a pole that hung like a chin up bar and we used to tie up sheets to it and I spent hours spinning and swinging in it.
Last real memory of something: I don’t understand, the last thing I did was come home from my sisters.
First car: pea wea! My little kia rio
Last car: same ol same ol
First date: Micheal Church, movies and Larry’s Mexican restaurant.
Last date: I have had one official date and it sucked.
First kiss: john in 1st grade, I was an elementary hoe.
Last kiss: Joe.
First job: AMC
Last job: still got it!
First screen name: jessielynn0507
Last screen name: fallin4u05
First self purchased album: beauty and the beast
Last album: butterfly kisses
First concert: BACKSTREET BOYS
Last concert: well I go to local shows, but the last Concert I went to was American Idol, I won the tickets!?!? Booya!
First funeral: my aunt
Last funeral: tinas, my old best friends step mom.
First pet: BINGO?! puppy
Last pet: Ashes, kitten
First president you voted for: well if I sould vote…
Last president you voted for: ….
First piercing/tattoo: ears, bellybutton, and I really really REALLY want a tattoo
Last piercing/tattoo: third hole but I took it out
First house/home: in clearlake, it was cozy
Last house/home: right here
First love: Joe
Last love: shut up
First enemy: this girl in the 2nd grade stole my green crayon, I hated her pretty bad…darn you Emily!?!??!
Last enemy: I try to keep my enemies to a minimum

2003-08-08T17:53:00.000-07:00

i am home for a little bit, i am gonna stay here till sunday, and then i am going back to my sisters. I love it there, i dunno why, i have always admired my sister, this is diana she is my oldest sister, not the one that was in the hospital. She is like 16 years older than me, and she married her highschool sweetheart, which has always been my big bro, i mean he was at the hospital when i was born, so he has always been there. ya know im kinda sick of everything, i am just really tired of nothing going right! i mean its so hard to walk around and pretend to have a clear mind when EVERYTHING in my head is reeling. I dont know when it will all just slow down. and ofcourse it all starts when school starts, i mean what perfect timing.
I just dont see what purpose it all has, geez, i mean is God just waiting for me to break? B/c if thats the case then i will, ill just snap. and then i wont have to worry anymore. AHHH! ok so my sister went to the doctor and they said her liver looks older than it is and it looks as if there is cancer on it, and so my brother-in-law found out exactly what kind it might be and looked it up online to learn about it. They had a symptoms check list and it turns out that she has like 90% of the symptoms. i dont know what this means, she went to the doctor today for the CT scan to see if thats what it is. she gets the results on wednesday. She is so upset but i think she is more stressed and scared, she hasnt slept a full night in days. And everytime it gets all quiet and i am afraid she is thinkng about it i look over to her and make sure she isnt crying. I dont know exactly how to process it all and it didnt hit me what might be happening until today, she and my mom were hugging and they both started crying. i hate it when my mom crys i never know what to say, what to do. i just stood there and watched them hug and cry and it hit me, so i walked out of the room. I think i am just terrified as to what next, i mean first michelle is in the hospital b/c he body is shutting down and now when things start looking good for her, diana gets news about possible liver cancer. i know it sounds stupid but its going down the line of my sisters and im waiting for it to happen to me. i am horrified that one day i will wake up and get my own bad news. so now i am waiting on wednesday along with everyone in our family. i really hope im over reacting, i hope that the docs are like what liver cancer, ya know?

im sorry that none have my posts have been cheery and that it seems like i am all bad news, i promise the next one will be better.

"what heigths of love,
what depths of peice.
when fears are stilled,
when strivings cease."

2003-08-06T20:19:00.000-07:00

hey ok so i am in pasadena right now, i am babysitting for her while she goes o work, teacher thingy. Im gonna be here until friday night and then that night me and ashley are gonna go get some school supplies for those kids that we adopted, chris and tedresek. well anyways then saturday morning i have a clean up day at 4-corners and then that is over at 1 and then i have my neices b-day party at 3 THEN after that me and ashley are gonna go drop off the school supplies and see if they want to go get ice cream. i hope they are home they havent been home in awhile. anyways then of course church on sunday. I have to make sure i make no plans on sunday b/c i am coming back here and then i will be home in tuesday. geez i cant believe we start school two days after i come back geez lol.

oh i went home today and my house is lacking a wall now lol it looks so weird lol but now they re gonna start on my room. Bob is doing a really good job its cool. ive decided the room will be maroon and white...yes i just have to give it to my mom sometimes : ) ooo well lol

i have recently found out something about someone i used to trust and i wanna kick him in the balls b/c he obviously thinks i am stupid to go all hitting on cidy i meangeez, a real smart guy, so proud. i can honestly say i have never felt so betrayed and used and i thik i am just now realizing how neive i was. but its ok right, ya live ya learn...yeah thats b.s. i hate myself for not seeing it..

2003-08-04T18:26:00.000-07:00

SO i had to work today from 1-9 but johnny took the last 3 hours of my shift so i could help my sister! lol im talking to steven right now, actually im not talking to him, he is talking to my away message. he is actually singing to it. i swear hes insane lol. anyways i was cleaning up some theatre tonight and i saw a boobie in it! lol jon boobie that is! lol his and steven went to see pirates of the carib. i love that movie. Tonight i am gonn ago stay at ashleys house yet again b/c i have no where to sleep. My parents are remodeling and so they are knocking down a wall that connects my bedroom to the guest room. so this huge room is gonna be my moms photo studio and i am moving my room into my dads office which is pretty nice. But anywas so yeah i am without a room for tonight and tomorrow and so tomorrow i think i am gonna clal cindy and see if she wants to hang out, i havent talked to her all week and i feel awful for it. I guess i have just been to busy with work and all that mess. I wanna do something with her tomorrow but i work at 6 until like 11 or so. lol geez anyways i am gonna go my dad wants on, or he wants the phone, i dunno

p.s. what color goes best with maroon that isnt white? maybe silver ehh?

2003-08-01T23:44:00.000-07:00

Sarah called me today, i was very surprised to see her name on my phone actually, its been awhile. I almost didnt know what to think. She wanted to come see a movie with stephanie and i guess i would tag along. I dont know what to think about her right now, i honestly feel like im at a loss for actions. I mean she is happy with the people she is with now, they are like her family. So i dunno, i guess i feel obligated to be happy for her. I mean if someone you care about is happy then you should be happy for them right? I dont really know what else to do, i mean i have tried i really have. When she needed a ride i would take her and she was sick i brought her choc chips. Its just i think she feels obligated to hangout with me which i know sounds awful but its true. When we are hanging out all she does is talk about what her and kenny did or her and stef or GEEZ ANYONE! im just sick of it. I wish i could hang around and be like,"ill be here if ya need me" but im not goingto be able to go back to the way things were if i dont know how she is. I guess i am jealous but geez! i mean this is the same person that our parents grew up together and that we hated each other so much for 2 years andthen became best friends i mean we always kidded about us living in houses close together so our kids could grow up together and carry on the tradition. It just seems like a waste to me. I mean liek 5 years seem like nothing now b/c all she does is hang out with stef and i think what gets me the most is stef is really nice and so at the same time i dont want to break their friendship with my jealousy. Its just rediculous i havent felt so frickin helpless in so long..

I had a blast tonight all you cool amc peeps. ok list of people there, dont be offended if i forget u. Ok there was Karly, jake, laroux (spelling?), austin, Aaron, Christen, Alex ( the girl ), Allen, Homer, Sarah, Marc, TimBO, Mike, Jose, J.D., Shannon, Brad, Steven, LISA, Gabby,and i feel like im missing people.hmmmm ok im soory if i did. :) But anyways I MADE A STRIKE!!!!!!! lol it was so cool! i felt all happy and stuff, only i almost ripped my thumb nail off tryin to let go of the ball lol And aaron and steven and homer played pool a lil bit. lol aaron is funny at pool and homer has that stuff down. lol anyways i had a really big blast. and tomorrow i am gonn ago with Ashley to get my nails fixed or filled or whatever and then i am gonna go to work and get off at last show THEN! I am going back to ashleys for a spend the night for church! score yea? lol
ok have fun

2003-08-01T08:20:00.000-07:00

Gigly sucks sooo much butt. Its awful and very poorly written and any movie that has jennifer lopez with her fiance and shes a lesbian. It was just stupid. But the company was good, sarah R was there for a little bit and then marc R and steven, lisa, and boobey lol. And AARON went home early!?!? but hey i really dont blame him!

BOWLING TONIGHT!!
i had to convince my mom to let me go bowling since i went last friday also, i need to figure out how to get home. or i will just get lost and that will be no fun. I might have to follow someone up there...well duh, but home lol. I am c-ush today from 1-6 and then i have to come home and do some more chores b4 i go bowling lol. I gotta go hop in the shower b4 i do my chores....or maybe i should do my chores then shower
i dunno ok bye!

2003-07-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

I am about to leave home so i can go with ashley and her little bro, along with my niece and nephew to chuck E cheese!?!? LOL its been awhile since ive been there. I was always freaked out by the robots on stage. I remember i had my b-day party there when i was 8 and they forgot to sing me happy birthday so they gave be a HUGEEE stuffed chuckee, well actually it was pretty small but at the time it seemed bigger. Anyways i still have it so i was like lets go to chuckee cheese!Anyways then after that we are gonna go see sinbad at the el movies! hahahaha im watching hercules lol the two little bad guys are HILLarious!??!?! it was funny! but im not going to restate what they said b/c it would take to long lol. Anyways i am gonna go hop up and get going, have fun!

ME DAS UN BASO....

2003-07-29T09:41:00.000-07:00

TODAY! im babysitting early early, and i have been dosing off this whole time which is bad b/c you cant watch the kids when your asleep. oh well so tonight i have to work at 6 on a side, which i dont mind b/c i like it when your not bombarded with people BUT! isnt there 2 spy kids over there still?? those kick my butt. uh huh word. I have to work with josh grey. Hey ya know I wouldnt be completly dreading it but its JOSH! I mean hes just all up on me and i realize he is like that with everygirl but i wanna tear his limbs off when he walks up to me. He just doesnt get it. O man.

Anyways tomorrow i am gonna take my neice and nephew to see Sinbad, i wanna go to the zoo b4 we go so maybe i can convince ashley to go along with me! i have wanted to go all summer lol. Then maybe after that we will go see Sinbad at 5:20. Is it illegal to get them in free since they arnt immediate family?? shouldi just say they are my bro and sis?i asked steven and aaron this last night and they didnt give me straight answers and if they did i didnt get it lol i know steven was confused lol. SORRY I STOOD YA UP STEVEN!!!! after your bibbbllle study i will go see freaky friday ok ?? i really wanna see that i will try and convince my mom. one day! anyways i better go a baby is crying. man o man

2003-07-29T00:42:00.000-07:00

ok so i just got off work, well i mean not just but a few hours ago. I had fun believe it or not. I got to close with Quoc, Todd, Aaron, and Mike. Geez the mood felt down tonight no one was smiley or happy or crrraZZy ! just blah! Although Aaron and Steven were real mood lifters, Steven cracked me up after work and aaron always does spaztic things that just freak me out! :)

I ALMOST DIED!!!!! i was clocked out AND THEN! we were in the elevator and the doors shut and Todd said wanna see me open the door and being stupid i said YEAH! and then we got stuck between floors in the elevator! It was freaky but not scary, i was laughing the whooole time and dobson and dluhey (spelling?) were no where to be found! geez!!

WHAT SCREENINGS ARE THURSDAY!?!?!??!

i am gonna go beddy bye now b/c i have to babysit tomorrow! have fun!

2003-07-28T14:02:00.000-07:00

AWESOME! ok so my last blog that i attempted to make i lost the info so now i am gonna try and remember it !any ways give me a shout out BECUZ I FINALLY HAVE ONE ! thanx aaron!!! OK i have to go to work but i will type when i get home!

2003-07-28T13:51:00.000-07:00

lets see if this works